All right, time to get this off my chest.
This is my largest Groot.
A true joy-sparking item, it made me happy as soon as i realized it existed, and even more so when I brought it home and took it out of the box.
There was a little problem. I bought it well over a year ago (look!) and immediately started taking fun photos of it. Sharp-eyed readers might look at the above photo and identify the problem right away.
Yes, seconds after I took that photo, a gust of wind made the rather top-heavy Groot fall over backward and fall off the roof, only stopping once it hit the grassy ground five storeys below.
My chest still clenches up a little as I think about it. I ran downstairs, feeling bottomlessly stupid and was, first of all, relieved to find that nobody or nothing had got hit.
The second relief was that Groot itself had taken the fall surprisingly well.
The arms were rather fractured, and a large-ish chip had been taken out of the back of the head, but I managed to find almost all the pieces and put Groot together again using a handy bottle of super glue.
Still, that feeling in my chest has stayed for a long time. I feel terrible about doing this stupid thing to something I care about, something which makes me happy. I can start distrusting myself, wondering what kind of reckless behavior this might foreshadow in the futuer.
But the whole reason this happened is of couse that it's a plastic toy, stupid! Toys are made to be played with!. Clearly this argument doesn't quite bite since I keep questioning if this whole thing turns me into a bald person.
In any case, time to move on. Publish this, photographic evidence and all, and move on.
I am Groot.