Date: 2010-12-31 00:37:00 Created: 2010-12-30 19:34:40
On this, the very last of December
I find myself trying to remember
- in Writeroom,
keyboard in lap,
feet high on desk -
just where and how when,
it all began, this 2010.
There were laides, Gaga and Sovereign,
In their castles queens so grand.
Neighbors and flatmates, many people pleasant.
But, while Lund was still our domain,
and Settlers slowly tended their land,
the thought of moving on was already present.
Now I sit here, as if in a movie
Sovereign again in my ears, red socks on my feet.
Aiming for a new year,
whichever kind it may be,
greeted in white russians,
moka coffee, plentiful cheer
and pints of green tea.
Many miles I have run
in sun, rain and snow.
On asphalt, ice and gravel.
Records have been broken,
new shoes have been won.
And yet, sometimes I was pretty low.
Questions, where it all leads,
involuntary breaks, feet moving slow,
wondering where it will end,
and for what goal it really is.
Detoxicating myself
by burning down to the bone?
I was doing it all spring,
and it has not gone unseen.
Am I doing it still?
Where is my right balance?
Here, there or somewhere inbetween?
In any case, through I got.
Found some footing, stood once again sure.
Tore out what if, maybe and not,
and moved onward, focused, feeling pure.
There have been toys,
quite a few.
Gadgets, kitchens and pads.
More importantly, development,
brave steps forward,
patched together one at a time.
Getting out of predicament
by writing, coding,
running and watching
long lines of films.
Many great, many good,
some just for empty fun.
I try not to brood,
but want to give myself time.
Sift through things and be relaxed,
moving fast never does any good,
if it makes your mind too taxed.
I have stood up and spoken,
I have found more of my own voice
I have not got myself distracted or broken
by too much seductive noise.
But there could always have been more,
of everything good, to be blunt.
More words, more communication
not to mention focus, direction
More finished things,
and more knowing what exactly it is I want.
Truth to be told,
things have never felt better on the whole.
Broke out of a mold
with my so-called might,
and, although progress sometimes seems slow,
the present is bright,
the future just as much so.
The past behind me quite well,
as far as I am able to tell.
To reflect and remember as needed
learn lessons to be heeded,
to inspire, and let new ideas be born,
but its passing is nothing I mourn.
The record is ending,
another starting soon.
Familiar sounds I am sending
into my mind, tone by tone.
What I need is around me, I know,
and all I need I can find.
Into 2011 I go,
with peace of mind.