Date: 2009-05-07 18:37:37 Created: 2009-05-07 14:35:14
It seems I have been running so regularly and intensely lately that I now begin to feel restless even the day after my last run. Perhaps I should cut down a bit after Göteborgsvarvet to avoid going overboard completely?
In any case, it has been a good couple of weeks since I last wrote anything here. Just yesterday I finished the last book on my reading list. So now my sort-of-goal is to revise things I have read and learned and try to put them into something concrete. Use and internalize, in short. We will see how that goes ... It feels like a good thing right now anyway.
Work was good today; quite a bit of code was exercised, recent work evaluated and a bug from 2004 was (by all appearances) removed along with its habitat. After work I have been feeling simultaneously tired and a little anxious to do something. The kind of feeling which can suddenly fill an evening with aimless surfing and leave me not having got antyhing satisfying done and at the same time not one bit more rested than at the outset.
I have managed to avoid the lazy surfing, and I have done quite a few good things. But I have not, yet, just sat down and let my thoughts flow (perhaps with some music). That is what I always think I should do in situations like this, but I so rarely do it.
Perhaps that and/or one of those focus-improving breathing exercises? I am doing my writing right now, so that is already taken care of. Writing is not too bad for relaxing mind-moving either, especially not with a summery sunset and birds singing outside the open balcony door.
(Flies in the kitchen, spawned when I neglected my last round of garbage for too long, are also a clear indication of warmer times.)
I have not written much here recently, but I have done so in several other places. I think the number of things I write down has gone up recently, and the majority of writing is for my own benefit and use. Notes, little ideas, lists, doodles, that kind of things. The type of things which get better and more frequent simply by being processed some more as you write them, and also take up less mental space because you know you have them on hand if they are ever needed. I write, and I do so both on computers, Iphones, Ipods and even paper. The notebook I purchased in Hong Kong last year is filling up rather nicely, and I look forward to picking up a replacement for it some day.
The morning pages exercise I got from Pragmatic thinking & learning has fallen by the wayside though. When alone, I prefer to just get up and get going with my day. When I have company, I prefer to give my company some attention. In either case, it becomes really hard to relax and try to free-flow thoughts to paper. It simply does not seem compatible with my current morning routine, and I am not sure I want to change my routine to accomodate morning pages.
At the same time, I do want to give it another shot or five. I have been thinking about making a habit of writing right after work, to get work thoughts out of mind and perhaps focus my evening too, but I do not suppose that has the same potential to reach unfiltered rich-mode input. Oh well, there should be more ways of doing that. And I can always come back to morning pages if and when I feel like it. I sure would not mind if I found it fit into my mornings all of a sudden.
I think someone said I could do with some relaxation and music? The way these things usually go, I will probably make notes in one form or the other every few minutes. But that just proves how good it is for getting new thoughts going.
So.