Listening to Jagged little pill, I came to think of the games I used to play. The old first-person shooters. How I had never lived in a home with a PC when I was first getting into this album. Of our 133 MHz PC. Of crunchy 320x240 2,5d games at friends' places.
Of Command & conquer. That was left handed. Fight, win, prevail.
Of Quake. It being 3d all the way through. Of the rounded objects in Quake III. Of getting into WASD plus mouse (in Quake) for the first time, as if the training wheels fell off into space. Of groaning zombies.
Thou cannot kill what is already dead, but thou can blow it into smaller pieces.
Of glorious, enormous Unreal. Vast exteriors. Cramped, dark interiors, running out of ammunition and eventually prevailing against the alien queen.
Of my Orchid 3d graphics card, my monstrous Voodoo2. Coloured lights and sights. Playing - at some point - with GL Quake. … timedemo1?
Sacrifice and No-one lives forever, the same Christmas. Staying up to four or so playing, wearing new cardigan.
Ninja Gaiden. Repeatedly beaten up with own lungs. Flow. Fight. Fail. Prevail.
Of feeling into games. Of getting deep into games and finishing them. What do I do now which is like mastering action games? Like becoming one with a control scheme, melding with the actions you control on-screen? Okami. It might be about the last large game I got into and through.
Look how many good memories old music, headphones and staring out into the room can bring on.