It took, what, three minutes for the new Micro machines för IOS to leave a foul taste in my mouth. Chock full of in-app purchases, to gain every thing imaginable as well as to just let you remove up arbitrary timers. Want to choose which game type to play next? No worries, you can always pay to not have to wait! And random is always free! I almost hit home in disgust before even starting a race, seeing how obviously and carelessly broken a gaming experience this would be.
The actual game - once you manage to find it - is nothing at all like the Micro machines I played to bits in ages past. That was a fast, simple and ridiculously fun game for up to four people on one machine. Pick a track, race and laugh like madpeople, repeat. This is a sluggish affair, with weapons and so many hoops to jump through between races. Random parts are thrown at you, alerts pop, dialogs shove you around, leagues and prizes are generated. Suddenly, a race begins with random people I know nothing about. I am led through a hailstorm of color and sound, handcuffed to a guidance rail and teased at every twist and turn to pay for something.
It came as no surprise that EA is behind this game. It does not matter if they actually just publish something the developers finished exactly like this without any input from EA whatsoever. This is exactly the kind of deeply greedy experience I expect EA to barf out in 2016.
That A, it used to stand for "arts". EA used to promote its designers and programmers, stars creating great works. How far the migthy have let themselves fall. Or how deeply they have stopped caring.
Perhaps the races themselves end up being fun and frantic. I honestly have no intention of finding out. Micro macines does not respect me and so I am not going to respect it.